lessons of lyff!!!!

most of my teenage was spent battling thoughts..rather ideals,values and morals others had set for me...i cud nva decide whether being accepted by evryone ws imp or not...i was confused...n a mess!!!.....

wt troubled me the most was the notion...."dont focus on the result...do wt u supposed to and u'll achieve results!!!"...i hated it...i dint blv an atom of that....it defied evry bit of logic n sense i held!!!....

i blvd that if results is wt u want n wt u work for...n that s the sole thing,...u will achieve it...drs no doubts abt that,,,,however, i cud nva prove t myself!!!!...that irritated me more....cuz i cudnt uphold what i blvd....


n now this day.....when things have actually fallen into place when i stopped bothering at them...

they seem better now, cuz i'm not  all arnd d place tryin 2 sort them....

it wasnt a conscious effort...i jus hpnd 2 stop tryin 2 talk 2 n please veryone...


i dunno if sub-consciously i got tired of tryin 2 do dat in vain....or i learnt t 4m scores of ppl arnd me who wer doin dat....it jus hpnd...

i have no scientific reason, ...no traceable logic,...n no rational reason behind it....!!!

and thats not all,.....at a time,...when the limits of my frustration were being tested,...i did an assignment,...holding least concern abt the opinion of the person i was doin t for........

n acc 2 him, it was great- a visible & positive shift of my thought process & clarity..........whereas while doin d assignment...i was sure it was jus a mixture of common sense - smthn anyone wud be abl 2 come up wd & smthn less extra-ordinary!!!!.............

the events still dun end here....

i was workin on smthn which had 2 aspects 2 t....one that i liked...n i was sure i was gonna do gr8...another one that i was disinterested in but still did t!!!...........


ridiculousness or jus game of nature...i dint kno wt 2 call it when the 2nd aspect  turned out better than the 1st....!!!!

i am forced to think, its probably jus the rules of lyff,....but no...it has 2 have a credible reason....smthn tha rationals wudnt negate...smthn that i wud have clear in my mind...n wil sty wd me thru - out......


n not smthn irreverent that my quest Wud end for!!!!!

a bachelor pad...things strewn arnd jus lyk dat!!!......5 lazy ppl lying arnd in clothes from last nyt....n crazy music playing!!!!!.....ya dts wt i wished my college lyff to be lyk....!!!n voila its exactly lyk dt!!!>
a weekend revolvin arnd d so awaited vir das's history of india!!!!....
...another weekend spent chillin t d bachelor's!!!!....

and it happens again......!!!!!

just when i thought things were changing an dey were her 2 sty,....

dey changed back to wt they were before...

just when i was about to achieve wt i wnted,..an obstacle,,,pushed me awy 4m der,...

so here i am,...back on slippery grounds,....nthg is devoid of uncertainity....

but what i've started seeing is that through each of this phase i've learnt smthing...dt i wudnt hv learnt oderwise,...

n everytime i embark a new journey, i will embark it wd a wiser mind...

i may not be abl 2 put htose things in black n white bt i jus hope they stay n make a difference!!!!!