I was reading this post on a friend's blog - it said something about happiness that I cant seem to relate to.
However I concluded one thing though.
Happiness for me right now, is situational and as variable & unsteady as my reactions to various situations.
I have perpetually maintained that I cannot be totally happy till everything fits into the bracket of my perfect.
But then the world isn't as narrow as that.
And isn't the real pleasure in dealing with the difficulty of things outside that bracket?
Yes, since that time, i have changed and changed substantially - i know myself better now.
I prioritize,
My writing has improved.
More importantly, I'm a little more sorted than what i used to be earlier.
Though i am still critical & too hard on myself, but that's for a reason.
I still see the glass (more than)half empty. I fear that if I deviate from my perfect & even for once lend belief to happiness, i shall lose track & become like one of those people who I choose not to like.
I'm not saying, happiness cant be found in small things - I know it can, it very well can. But for me that happiness doesn't count till you are happy in the bigger scheme of things - in the bigger picture.
I might have changed, but deep down, I'm still SCARED to be HAPPY.
However I concluded one thing though.
Happiness for me right now, is situational and as variable & unsteady as my reactions to various situations.
I have perpetually maintained that I cannot be totally happy till everything fits into the bracket of my perfect.
But then the world isn't as narrow as that.
And isn't the real pleasure in dealing with the difficulty of things outside that bracket?
Yes, since that time, i have changed and changed substantially - i know myself better now.
I prioritize,
My writing has improved.
More importantly, I'm a little more sorted than what i used to be earlier.
Though i am still critical & too hard on myself, but that's for a reason.
I still see the glass (more than)half empty. I fear that if I deviate from my perfect & even for once lend belief to happiness, i shall lose track & become like one of those people who I choose not to like.
I'm not saying, happiness cant be found in small things - I know it can, it very well can. But for me that happiness doesn't count till you are happy in the bigger scheme of things - in the bigger picture.
I might have changed, but deep down, I'm still SCARED to be HAPPY.
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